A personal experience - client testimonial.

“When I first started the mentorship I was not very trusting. I feel like I always held back when sharing ie not telling the whole story and not really being honest with myself. I felt I was very timid about my sexuality, very unsure of myself, and not really knowing who I was.

I believed I was coming to learn how to be a more sexual person, more confident, more in control, and to be an overall better lover.

I learnt that I am enough and that sex is much more than an orgasm, and that there is way more connection in sex – way more pleasure in taking your time and that slow and soft is more. I feel like I’m a work in progress and I’m always moving forward. I didn’t realize how closed off I was and how much more open I am now. I was very defensive and not open to listening.

I didn’t handle the blocks very well, and I really just shut down and got defensive, once I was able to listen it all started to make sense – everything just started to flow, now I find I’m much more open to my instructors direction.

We had many amazing journeys, they were very powerful. I remember one with my feminine and my masculine my four year old parents in the garden, Amazing. At the last session I could not believe how much pleasure I could feel.

I feel I’m so much more open I’m calmer I feel so much connected to myself it’s like I understand myself more than I ever had before. I’m much more confident in myself, I feel I communicate with others better, sexually I feel like I’m a little smoother more comfortable and I know more about sex.

I feel now like I’m dancing in my own sexuality. I feel sexy not ugly, I feel lust and not shame, and I feel like I want more more more.

When I joined the mentorship I thought I was in tune with myself I thought I was grounded I thought I knew about sex. I thought I knew pleasure – BOY was I wrong. There was highs and lows – lots of stories it’s like I went to the bottom and you brought me back up you made me look at myself and it wasn’t easy for either of us but what a reward and it’s working every single day, I loved this mentorship.

When I started I felt shame and now I feel proud I’m stronger happier and I really feel free I’m dancing inside all the time. Thanks so much Amara you are a amazing person and I feel so grateful our paths crossed.” 

– H.M, Summer 2019

personal reflections from past initiates…

“When I first came to this wonderful journey, I was tense with grief from the loss of a relationship. This resulted in experiences that I blindly stumbled into leaving me with guilt and shame about who I was in this world. It was something that has weighed heavy on me over the years and has proven destructive in relationships.

It was this knowing that a deepening in the relationship with myself and the necessity for some deep healing to occur that drove to me to work with Amara. Really, I did not know what to expect. On a superficial level there was the desire for gratification. There was also a deep yearning for a safe space. A safe space for me to cry, to come back to myself. A real need for a container within which I could crack open and let be whatever it was that needed to come out. I see that in my previous relationships, I had pushed myself into sexual experiences thinking that that was the way to find this container, to forcibly try to crack myself open.

It was good for me to see that I was open to throwing myself into this experience. For this, I will be eternally grateful for Amara and this program because she gave me the parameters, I needed in order to throw myself into this experience in a safe way enabling the self exploration and healing that my heart truly desired.

Whilst this structure is what I distanced myself from sometimes, even questioning why I was doing the program sometimes, I knew in my heart I was exactly where I needed to be. Amara’s unflinching dedication to the process is what helped me get to the end. I will never be able to say thank you enough for that, for it was at the end of this journey did I at last come in contact with the splinter within myself that has caused so much pain and hurt. That being my own sense unworthiness, my own shame and guilt for things I have done and the man I have been. The real depth of self loathing that I have tried to cover up and deny. To be loved and held through all of that coming out, has been a truly transformational experience. It was the stuff that I always believed would lead to me being hated and alone. 

Coming out of all this, I have recognized the unwritten contract that I expected women to enter into by being intimate with me. That by throwing ourselves into an intimate union, I am asking her to take away my pain, to give me a place in this world, to give me a sense of purpose and value. And when she could not fulfill this impossible task, I would begin to feel my own insecurities and thus the inevitable pull away would happen. I do not want to continue this cycle of pain and regret anymore. So, for me moving forward, it is my intent to practice the being with myself that I mention. To continually practice recognizing my own value and finding of my own purpose and take these responsibilities off her so that she can simply shine.

It is a reorientation within myself that I know will require constant refinement, but I now at least feel like I have a starting point and compass in order for this to happen. I have desired a life of beauty, of love, of passion and joy. With the allowing of the pain and regret that I have always run away from, I see that my truest desires actually stand a chance of living in this life. I am so deeply grateful for this acknowledgement.

Watching how I do throw myself into experiences with the desire to learn and grow has given me a much deeper appreciation for who I am and my sense of personal value. For the first time an appreciation for the depth of love that I can carry for myself. Whilst nervous, I do have an excitement for what this can mean for my intimate relationships with myself and my love.

During my time, I have experienced the crushing humility that was needed for me to crack open my pain and grief to allow me to embrace and love myself. To come home to myself. It is an irony that is not lost on me to see that by avoiding my own pain and loss, trying to find something of sacredness within me I was actually running from myself. It is the taste of the sweetest nectar to believe I am encountering a whole new me based upon acceptance and love.

Before I embarked on this journey, I had reviewed my whole life as a step towards embracing all the parts of me I had tried to cut off. Now, having continued on that journey within this immersion, I only now feel like I am in a place ready to begin again! So, it is with some nervous joy I look to see what my next steps can be in this life, towards fulfilling my goals of living a heart-centered, love filled and passionate life. Of creating worth goals and striding into life.

I have so much love, admiration and gratitude for you, Phoenix Amara, for the container you held for me to experience myself in this deeper way. To give me a chance of owning my self and what I can bring to this world. For never failing to be there for me with love. I will be forever grateful. From the bottom of my heart thank you.”

– S.H, Fall 2019, Hero’s Quest Graduate